Saturday, April 10, 2010

My Favourite Ranga

A certain girl I know was once overhead in a restuarant drunkenly proclaiming "I've always had a bit of a thing for rangas"!
 Now, in all fairness being her birthday, she was surrounded by her friends and a particularly naughty friend was egging her on.
'So what ?'  
its just a bit of harmless, drunken fun right? 

Well, it should be pointed out that the red headed waiter was standing right behind her at that exact moment.....
So in remembrance of that occasion, here is a list of some of my favourite rangas; in no particular order.

Mr Kerry O Brien, famed longtime television journalist for the ABC.  Suffice to say that if I was a pollie who was about to be interviewed by Kerry, I'd be crappin in my expensive suit.
His skills roasting pollies on tv makes for excellent viewing however.
It should be pointed out that Kerry does qualify as a Silver Fox, and we all know that Miz does have a thang for them too.
That, however is a whole other post.


The one, the only Miss Sexual Hotpants. 
We met at Christain Youth Camp.
Its not always the quiet ones that need to be watched.

Chuck Norris.  Don't fuck with the Chuck.
The Texas Ranger also qualifies for the Silver Fox category (are we seeing a pattern here?)
The man also packs an impressive Moose Knuckle no?

Josh Homme ladies and gentlmen.  Need I say more?

My favourite tattooed, pierced, bike-riding-cheffy-labtech.
You know who you are!

Kenny K-dawg, King of all the kool kids.
Foul mouthed ceramiscist extraordinare.
And as we can see here, owner of an impressive chest rug- only thing missing is a thick gold chain.

 This week I love.....
  • Chocolate hot cross buns.  Put them in the toaster, and then slather them with butter.  The ultimate Easter breakfast food- oh yeah! 
  • My new tattoo!  Ya-huh readers that makes #5 (not quite the tattooed circus lady yet).  Hurt like a bitch too, I don't remember my earlier tatts hurting so much - but she's so cute!

  • My job.  My job is now even better than before- now I get to work from home (yep, I can hear your jealousy from here.

  • Holidays.  Not long now until Miz hits Melbourne, and I have the feeling that we are going to love each other.

  • Hamamachi viewing.  Its spring right now in my favourite place, Japan, which means that the Cherry Blossoms are out!  Wish I was in Kyoto tripping about and going to endless Hamamachi viewing parties, drinking sake in the park and enjoying bento.  Maybe next year, sigh.

love always, Miz Murasaki.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

If I were a Rockstar.......

I know, I know I have been quite tardy posting, but I have a good excuse.  A very good excuse.  'Member how in my last post I lamented the fact that no one pays me to be Miz Murasaki?  Well I have just gotten one step closer to my goal......that's right, I'm getting paid to write now.  I am an editor, I have my own desk and everything! 

Miz has scored a job as a journo!
Frickin, awesome, amazing cool.

So as cool as this is, it means I have a lot less time to do the things I do, go to uni, write, be a mum (and a wifey) and play roller derby.  But its ok, I'm making it work, it just means the might be a lot less blog lovin going on.  sorry.

Anyway, the whole reason I got this writing gig in the first place is thanks to my own determination and initiative, AND a super-cool amazing Orstralian rock god who goes by the name of Tim Rogers. It was a joint effort, Timmy and I doin our thang and a bit of a long story, so instead of boring you with the details I thought I would entertain you with a homage to the ol' cobber in a little thing I like to call.....

'If i were a Rock Star'


So, if I were a Rockstar;
  • I would get to fly first class.  This is pretty exciting, because as yet I have never done that.

  • I would get Ken Paves (Pah-vez not Paves) Celebrity Hair Stylist to the Stars to be my hairdresser.  That's right, me and Jessica Simpson and Pink having the great hair!

  • I would not sleep in my own vomit.  In fact I would hire someone to make sure that never happened.  Their title could be 'Sleep Hygiene Assistant'.  I realise that this may make me less of a rock god, but so be it.

  • I could have a really 'out there' rider. In my experience the stranger the requests on one's rider, the bigger star you are.

  • Designers would give me free stuff.  

  • Further to this, I would hire a personal stylist who would be able to help me achieve that uber cool effortlessly scruffy look that all the stars do.  You know the one where you look like you just excited a wild, all night orgy and put on the first thing you could find.  But, in reality it actually takes skill to achieve that kind of dishevelled look and make it look good, as opposed to skanky

  • I could dance like a total fool and still look cool because I'm a rockstar (Peter Garrett anyone?).

  • I would not be able to wear dirty, torn grotty clothes.  I know that rockstars do that kind of thing, but I am too much of a control freak. Me and my stylist (see above) would have to have a talk about that.

  • I could act as crazy, moody, cranky and sullen as I want, and people would explain it away with- "she's an artist".  When you are a brilliant artist people expect the kookiness.  If they don't get it, they are disappointed, like it makes you less of an artist or something.  Lucky writers get away with this too.  You just scream something like  "I have writer's block"  or "I'm on deadline".

  • When onstage, I could swear and belittle the audience as much as I want- people love that kind of shit from their idols.  Seriously, Tim swore his head off and the crowd couldn't get enough.  I wonder what would happen if I tried that at the paper?

This week I love.....

  • Being employed, in a job I actually like.  The best thing about getting the job you want is that it means you may never have to do shitty jobs that you hate, again.  Yay!

  • The heat wave going down in the South West region of WA.  My favourite season has just been extended by a week, winter is way too long here in Bunbury.

  • The 50% off rack.  You wander into a shop, and there it is!  Even better when you can find something you like.

  • I love love love my new proper derby knee pads! It feels like I'm landing on pillows!  Those knee slides don't even hurt anymore.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Don't Panic!

oh dear, it's been quite a while hasn't it.  Don't despair dear readers, your favourite self-involved-over-opinionated lady will be back for a new adventure in bitch-pinionness soon!!!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Proclaimations, Observations and Ponderations......

I don't know if this ever happens to you, but i find that my mind is most active between the hours of 11pm and 1am. Unfortunately for me, this also happens to be when i am trying to get to the land of Nod.  Which makes me wonder, if i switched it around and started sleeping during the day and working at night, would i end up dead-tired at 10.30?  This I will never know, because I couldn't be bothered stuffing up my sleeping patterns any more.  Thank-you to all those years working nights in pubs!
In the spirit of insomnia here's a list of some of my late-night ponderings and be warned, Miz scored a new mega-huge, fancy pants dictionary for Xmas, and she isn't afraid to use it (that is how i know ponderation is actually a word).

Sometimes you can want a particular object/objective for aeons but when you finally get it, you realise it is nothing like you imagined it would be.  In fact you don't want it at all.  Leaves you wondering why you wasted all that time.

No matter how hard I try to avoid it, chances are I am going to turn into my Mum.  If  in no other way than being the person my children roll their eyes at.  If they only knew.  Still I will take some consolation knowing that will happen to them too!

Can someone please tell me how i can get Carrie Bradshaw's life?  The woman writes a piddly little column for some second-rate newspaper, and she does it from home! I'd be interested to know the hourly rate in that line of work. It must be fairly lucrative because the lady is always shopping, socialising, dating, dining out and meeting heaps of cute men.  I already to all of these things (except for the cute men bit) unfortunately no one pays me to be Miz Murasaki.......yet. 
For crying out loud, how much time does she actually spend writing that column anyway?  And, don't get me started on the woman's inability to match bra to clothing. If i was dressed from head to toe in designer clothing, I'd sure as hell be able to find the right bra.

Capitalism is a bitch.  As eary as January 4 consumers were able to buy hot cross buns from one of  the "big stupidmarkets". I don't know about you but we were still eating Xmas leftovers at our house.
 Mao wouldn't have put up with that kind of crap.

Women spend an extraordinary amount of time and money on looking good.  As a matter of fact, we do some pretty wild stuff, and put ourselves out enormously in order to look good.  We don't complain, and even though we know it's madness we still do it.  Do not be fooled into thinking we do it in order to please men, that is a fallacy. We do it to impress other women. 

What am I supposed to do with my son's teeth after the 'Tooth Fairy' has left him some cash?  I just can't bring myself to throw it in the bin.  Perhaps there is a blackmarket for this kind of thing.

Tattoos, childbirth and waxing hurt.  You can only get an epidural for one of these.

Boys may not get an attitude until they are about six.  This is only because they have started school and are associating with other boys.  In contrast, girls have attitude from the day they are born, you just don't notice it straightaway because they are babies.  Its not wind, its 'tude. Trust me.  The ones that are cute and smart  have it even easier, case in point my daughter Miss Madam Pants.   People wonder why they turn into Princess Bitchfaces once they hit their teens. Well derr- they've been practicing since birth.

In the Hindu religion cows are sacred.  Does that mean if you call a Hindu a cow, they take it as a compliment?

'Shopping Theory'  When you've got cash to spend, there's nothing to buy.  When you're broke and just going for a look, there is heaps of cool stuff.  You know it's true.

Wedges of fresh lemon are only palatable after Tequila shots.  Why is this so?

With the increasing popularity of  boob jobs and permanent hair removal, will the next generation of Grannies all have gravity defying breastessess and be smooth and hairless down there?  Who cares, if it feels good do it.

This Week I love,
  • Miz loves the New Year.  This may come as a shock, seeing as how I am not at all sentimental, but Miz Murasaki loves the New Year.  It's probably due to the fact that  I am a control freak, and I always keep my resolutions.  I do not however, refer to them as resolutions, that would be a bit naff.  Miz Murasaki has plans, aims and goals.
  • My brand new, fancy pants dictionary.  I am a word nerd afterall.

  • My other blog, Babushkas Boilin' Bunnies.  Have you checked it out yet?
  • Getting back to the gym after the silly season break.  Sweat out the booze, and feel alive!  Apparently it's better than drugs....apparently.
  • Paying in kind.  When one creative gal makes some cute things and gives one to a creative girlfriend, and then said girlfriend makes some cute things and gives one to first creative gal.  Lets face it, who's going to appreciate it more than your girlfriend(s)?  Because I used my Roller Derby obsession for good and made some little badges, Miz Murasaki is  now the proud owner of some cute little handmade hairpins.  Thanks Katkins!
  • Speaking of creative ladies, this week Miz has been enjoying Bjork all over again.  Friendly Fires have also been serenading me while I work, party, read and lie about.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Social Niceties Post

Hello readers, long time no see (write/read whatever).
I realise that there has been a bit of a gap between posts and i must apologise for that, however i did warn you last time that i had a life. What has been taking up my time i hear you wondering......well, husband was on holidays and he does get jealous of my laptop (men are such babies)but also I have discovered my other, other calling, Roller Derby! My adopted home town has just started a roller derby club, and I am all over it!! Chicks with 'tude on skates, what could be cooler? Better still, i think i have been given the honour of writing the club blog, so look out for the link.

This week i wanted to write about a subject close to my heart, Social Niceties.

Just recently my family and i took a day trip to Freo, and it was during the crowded train ride home that i was struck by the inspiration for my next post. While Miz Murasaki would be the last person to call for the return of succubus undies, shotgun weddings and church socials, i can't help thinking how much more polite people were in my Nanna's day. Of course, we all know that i could go on and on about this but i have (tried to ) restrict myself to a few basic pointers for the socially inept.

On The Train.
While Miz Murasaki is all for female liberation, this does not mean to say that a liberated female doesn't appreciate manners, or being treated like a lady. Men should still offer ladies their seats, especially if they are pregnant. Of course, children should offer their seats to adults, and everyone should offer their seats to the elderly, sick, pregnant or disabled. In addition to this, bags or feet do not belong on the seat, they go on the floor. And gentlemen, please remember that just because you usually sit with your legs wide apart and ladies don't, this does not give you the right to take over the seat, especially in a crowded train, on a long bench style seat.
Do not leave your rubbish on the train, take it with you when you leave.
If we are all to start going green and using public transport more often, then we would do well to remember a few basic courtesies on said public transport.

Mobile phones
No one is interested in hearing your phone conversations on the train. In Japan one is only allowed to use SMS on the trains and subways. Actual conversations are permitted between stops, meaning they are kept mercifully brief. This is one more example of how the Japanese are lightyears ahead of the Australians when in comes to manners and having respect for others.
As a matter of fact, no one is really interested in hearing anyone else's conversations (unless they get off on that sort of thing, in which case - ewwwwww).
Try to be mindful of that.

In the Queue.
I am sure no one would be surprised to learn that Miz Murasaki is big on personal space, as in I have a big personal space bubble. With that in mind here's a tip for waiting in queues; check to see how far away the person in front of you is standing from the person in front of them. This is usually a good indication of how much distance they expect from you. It was only yesterday that i had the pleasure of feeling the breath of a complete stranger on the back of my neck. Obviously they weren't paying attention to the gap between me and the person in front of me.
Don't talk on your mobile phone in the queue (people aren't interested in your life).
Don't start audibly complaining, no one cares about your problems besides which, the poor employees dealing with the queue are not the ones responsible for the inadequate staffing levels anyway.


A bit more on personal space, what is it with the 'free hug movement' anyway?  As if i want some total stranger touching me (barf) its bad enough when they get too close in the queue (see above).  I mean for crying out loud.  If you want human contact, go to a brothel.  Don't inflict that crap on me while I'm out shopping.

In the Supermarket
Miz Murasaki realises that at this time of year supermarkets, or indeed most shops, will be particularly crowded and this only means that social niceties are all the more important. Of late i have been wondering what has happened to the English phrase 'excuse me'. It seems to have dropped out of the lexicon. Nowadays it appears to be completely normal to push past people who are in your way emitting a loud exasperated sigh, as if you should have known they were behind you.
"Yes, i would have known you were there if you'd said EXCUSE ME!!!".
Sometimes i contemplate standing there, acting dumb until i hear the magic phrase being uttered. But i don't! Because that wouldn't be very polite of me, and there is no need to lower oneself in these situations.......
With that in mind next time you are in the supermarket pushing around a loaded trolley, realise that everyone else is heaving their trolley around too and try using 'the magic phrase'. Instead of spreading Christmas cheer, try manners  and enjoy the feeling of superiority.
Speaking of spreading Christmas cheer, it is not acceptable to wish someone a merry Christmas via Facebook or SMS, unless you have already called them or sent a card. This also goes for birthdays, wedding anniversaries, condolences, congratulations, get the picture. While Miz Murasaki loves to use Facebook, twitter, SMS and e-mail there is no excuse for using it to slack off your duties as a polite, respectable human being. Words are great, but speech is fantastic, use the opportunity to increase your vocabulary. People did actually talk to each other before we had all of this lovely technology.
Underwear (ladeez this is for you).
Just like my Nanna always says, 'it is very important for a lady to wear the correct underwear' this means, dear readers that if you are wearing white; skirt, pants or shorts please wear either flesh coloured or white undies. It is not cool to wear a black thong under tight white pants IT MAKES YOU LOOK CHEAP. Polka dots?- even worse. Better yet, don't wear white on your bottom half at all, it is never flattering (even if you are a size ten and have buns of steel) and you can always see your undies.
The same goes for bras. Most bras have movable straps, have you ever considered why this is so? IT IS BECAUSE YOU SHOULD MATCH YOUR BRA STRAPS TO THE STYLE OF SHIRT YOU ARE WEARING. Nothing gives Miz Murasaki the shits so much as those stoopid racer back tops with bra straps plainly on display. Perhaps the only time it would be acceptable  is in the gym, or if you have a new tatt in the general area and don't want anything rubbing on it.
Its like Usher and Ludacris said, men want "a lady in the street and a freak in the bed'. Try to remember this when next you go out.

On a good note, the day in Freo wasn't all bad. At the Fremantle Arts Centre Bazaar i found some cute little hairclips handmade in WA by a local artist: Alicia Rosam. I think i spoke about the importance of hairclips in my last post, and these ones are sweet and unique. Ali j also makes badges, compact mirrors and jewelry. She has her own website Yay for Ali j!

This Week......

  • Alij Art.  Cute  little sweeties for like minded ladies
  • Manners old skool style.  Be an individual and use them.
  • Roller Derby, my new obsession.  Hot gals, cool hair, ink and rockin' costumes, whats not to like?
  • Loud grungy rock. Music to Roller Derby to.
  • Old skool Regurgitator.  Reminds me of being young and single in Brisneyland in the late nineties.

Friday, November 13, 2009

The B Post

So its only my second post and already i can see there is going to be problems because i have realised that i do way too much consuming and i have many, many opinions. How will i ever keep up with it all? Good thing there is no limit on how often i can blog! (see what i just did there? I used blog as a verb, such versatile word to have in one's lexicon).
Unfortunately the post holiday glow is starting to wear off, and life is returning to normal. The good news (for me at least) is that i have finished my exams and so the post holiday glow has been replaced with end of exams giddiness! What this means for you, dear readers is that i have three months to dedicate to my blog!Well not quite three months I do plan on doing other stuff - I have a life you know.

The B Post. This post is going to feature some cool 'B' things that i am particularly enamoured of at the moment.

Books! Yes i love books every week; however, i wanted to pay special attention to the Penguin Books 'Popular Penguins Promo' because right now book lovers can buy brand spankin' new penguins for only $10!!!
'wow man how can you argue with that price? '
Kudos to the folks at Penguin i say. Anything that makes good literature more affordable for the hoi polloi gets the Miz Murasaki stamp of APPROVAL! I myself have five, probably soon to be six or seven, who knows where it'll end.

It makes one wonder, how if Penguin can do this so cheaply, why the other publishing houses sell their titles for so much more? This in turn makes me think about the parallel imports proposition - don't even get me started. Why in the hell would we honestly believe that just because the big retailers could buy cheaper books that they would pass the savings on to us, the readers? puh-leese.
I have no interest in pushing up the margins of those retailers. I'm all for cheaper books of course, but not at the expense of the Australian industry, or the poor confused minds of students, learning to spell words in Australian English, but reading books written in American English. At this point I could rattle on about the Americanisation of Australian culture, but i think we all get my point. Lucky for us, the government knocked this proposition back (good one Kev, I think we dodged a bullet there).
Well, back to the Bs.....

With new titles being released regularly anyone is sure to find something that interests them, it's the surprise that keeps on coming! Miz Murasaki, (cunning as she is) is taking the opportunity to purchase quality linguistics reference books. Because I can't see myself getting a hold of any linguistics texts at the uni bookstore anywhere near that price.
So go forth and read, read I tell you!

My other 'B' crush this week is Buttons. The humble button has been enjoying a bit of a creative comeback of late.
I really can't say enough about the button, from a fashion perspective they can make a whole outfit. Simply by changing the buttons on our clothes, we can change the whole look of the garment, and the options are endless. Just step into your local haberdashery store and see what i mean (hab-er-dash-ery what a word).
I have a bit of a penchant for mismatched buttons; consequently, I have updated countless outfits by simply changing the buttons (i love a nice soft cardi with contrasting buttons). Lately though I have noticed some clever, crafty ladies using buttons in jewellery. Maybe the Kiwis were ahead of us here, because a few years ago i was holidaying in Raglan, where there was a whole assortment of button based jewellery for sale. If there is one thing Miz Murasaki can't go past it's unique, clever jewellery. With this in mind i have recently become the proud owner of some button hair clips and a button ring. The gals with short hair will agree, cool hair clips are very important (incidentally hair clips can also change the look of an outfit AND say a lot about the wearer, but i digress).
Anyway, I'm off to read some penguins and mess about with buttons, till next time.
btw, Raglan is a great place, if you're ever in the Land of the Long White Cloud, check it out.

This Week.......
  • As Oz music month draws to a close i am particulary enjoying The Funkoars, who said RADelaide was dull?
  • Buttons, fashionable and functional is there anything they can't do?
  • Popular Penguins.  Affordable literature for all.
  • The light-headed, giddy sense of freedom and possibility one has after end of year exams. 

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Losing my (blog) virginity

So here it is!! My first bloggy spot on my brand new blog - how exciting!

Anyone who knows Miz Murasaki knows that I lurve shopping, and the sound of my own voice shouting out my own opinions (granted you guys can't actually hear it). So this spot will be all about my favourite things including, but not restricted to clothes and accessories, BAGS!, books, movies, shops, music - WHATEVER. If i like it, you will see it here.
There is something completely decadent and selfish about a blog all about oneself- that's why it appeals to me.
I recently returned from a holiday in my most favourite place - Japan! Nobody shops like the Japanese and needless to say, when in Rome.........
Anyway, during my holiday i bought soooo many wonderful things, it occurred to me that i should share my loot with other like minded souls (fellow consumers of the world - unite!). I thought " there must be other people out there who would appreciate these treasures as much as i". And so, the idea for Miz Murasaki was born......
This week i love these green vinyl converse sneakers that i saw in Tokyo. Sadly it was my last day in Tokyo and, as a consequence i had no room left in the suitcase (actually i was already way over my weight allowance) so i had to do the adult thang and leave these shoes to be loved by someone else. Of course the fact that i already have three pairs of connies was also soothing balm.
In my mind i will imagine the shoes roaming free in Tokyo on the heels of some young fashionista, probably teamed with a pair of super short shorts and some funky thigh-high socks, they love the socks in Japan (incidentally i did buy a few pairs, but see me about that next time). Did i mention that i lived on gyoza and little cakes filled with sweet red bean paste for like about a week? So this week i also love sweet bean paste, i think its called anko? Let me know readers!