Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Social Niceties Post

Hello readers, long time no see (write/read whatever).
I realise that there has been a bit of a gap between posts and i must apologise for that, however i did warn you last time that i had a life. What has been taking up my time i hear you wondering......well, husband was on holidays and he does get jealous of my laptop (men are such babies)but also I have discovered my other, other calling, Roller Derby! My adopted home town has just started a roller derby club, and I am all over it!! Chicks with 'tude on skates, what could be cooler? Better still, i think i have been given the honour of writing the club blog, so look out for the link.

This week i wanted to write about a subject close to my heart, Social Niceties.

Just recently my family and i took a day trip to Freo, and it was during the crowded train ride home that i was struck by the inspiration for my next post. While Miz Murasaki would be the last person to call for the return of succubus undies, shotgun weddings and church socials, i can't help thinking how much more polite people were in my Nanna's day. Of course, we all know that i could go on and on about this but i have (tried to ) restrict myself to a few basic pointers for the socially inept.

On The Train.
While Miz Murasaki is all for female liberation, this does not mean to say that a liberated female doesn't appreciate manners, or being treated like a lady. Men should still offer ladies their seats, especially if they are pregnant. Of course, children should offer their seats to adults, and everyone should offer their seats to the elderly, sick, pregnant or disabled. In addition to this, bags or feet do not belong on the seat, they go on the floor. And gentlemen, please remember that just because you usually sit with your legs wide apart and ladies don't, this does not give you the right to take over the seat, especially in a crowded train, on a long bench style seat.
Do not leave your rubbish on the train, take it with you when you leave.
If we are all to start going green and using public transport more often, then we would do well to remember a few basic courtesies on said public transport.

Mobile phones
No one is interested in hearing your phone conversations on the train. In Japan one is only allowed to use SMS on the trains and subways. Actual conversations are permitted between stops, meaning they are kept mercifully brief. This is one more example of how the Japanese are lightyears ahead of the Australians when in comes to manners and having respect for others.
As a matter of fact, no one is really interested in hearing anyone else's conversations (unless they get off on that sort of thing, in which case - ewwwwww).
Try to be mindful of that.

In the Queue.
I am sure no one would be surprised to learn that Miz Murasaki is big on personal space, as in I have a big personal space bubble. With that in mind here's a tip for waiting in queues; check to see how far away the person in front of you is standing from the person in front of them. This is usually a good indication of how much distance they expect from you. It was only yesterday that i had the pleasure of feeling the breath of a complete stranger on the back of my neck. Obviously they weren't paying attention to the gap between me and the person in front of me.
Don't talk on your mobile phone in the queue (people aren't interested in your life).
Don't start audibly complaining, no one cares about your problems besides which, the poor employees dealing with the queue are not the ones responsible for the inadequate staffing levels anyway.


A bit more on personal space, what is it with the 'free hug movement' anyway?  As if i want some total stranger touching me (barf) its bad enough when they get too close in the queue (see above).  I mean for crying out loud.  If you want human contact, go to a brothel.  Don't inflict that crap on me while I'm out shopping.

In the Supermarket
Miz Murasaki realises that at this time of year supermarkets, or indeed most shops, will be particularly crowded and this only means that social niceties are all the more important. Of late i have been wondering what has happened to the English phrase 'excuse me'. It seems to have dropped out of the lexicon. Nowadays it appears to be completely normal to push past people who are in your way emitting a loud exasperated sigh, as if you should have known they were behind you.
"Yes, i would have known you were there if you'd said EXCUSE ME!!!".
Sometimes i contemplate standing there, acting dumb until i hear the magic phrase being uttered. But i don't! Because that wouldn't be very polite of me, and there is no need to lower oneself in these situations.......
With that in mind next time you are in the supermarket pushing around a loaded trolley, realise that everyone else is heaving their trolley around too and try using 'the magic phrase'. Instead of spreading Christmas cheer, try manners  and enjoy the feeling of superiority.
Speaking of spreading Christmas cheer, it is not acceptable to wish someone a merry Christmas via Facebook or SMS, unless you have already called them or sent a card. This also goes for birthdays, wedding anniversaries, condolences, congratulations, get the picture. While Miz Murasaki loves to use Facebook, twitter, SMS and e-mail there is no excuse for using it to slack off your duties as a polite, respectable human being. Words are great, but speech is fantastic, use the opportunity to increase your vocabulary. People did actually talk to each other before we had all of this lovely technology.
Underwear (ladeez this is for you).
Just like my Nanna always says, 'it is very important for a lady to wear the correct underwear' this means, dear readers that if you are wearing white; skirt, pants or shorts please wear either flesh coloured or white undies. It is not cool to wear a black thong under tight white pants IT MAKES YOU LOOK CHEAP. Polka dots?- even worse. Better yet, don't wear white on your bottom half at all, it is never flattering (even if you are a size ten and have buns of steel) and you can always see your undies.
The same goes for bras. Most bras have movable straps, have you ever considered why this is so? IT IS BECAUSE YOU SHOULD MATCH YOUR BRA STRAPS TO THE STYLE OF SHIRT YOU ARE WEARING. Nothing gives Miz Murasaki the shits so much as those stoopid racer back tops with bra straps plainly on display. Perhaps the only time it would be acceptable  is in the gym, or if you have a new tatt in the general area and don't want anything rubbing on it.
Its like Usher and Ludacris said, men want "a lady in the street and a freak in the bed'. Try to remember this when next you go out.

On a good note, the day in Freo wasn't all bad. At the Fremantle Arts Centre Bazaar i found some cute little hairclips handmade in WA by a local artist: Alicia Rosam. I think i spoke about the importance of hairclips in my last post, and these ones are sweet and unique. Ali j also makes badges, compact mirrors and jewelry. She has her own website Yay for Ali j!

This Week......

  • Alij Art.  Cute  little sweeties for like minded ladies
  • Manners old skool style.  Be an individual and use them.
  • Roller Derby, my new obsession.  Hot gals, cool hair, ink and rockin' costumes, whats not to like?
  • Loud grungy rock. Music to Roller Derby to.
  • Old skool Regurgitator.  Reminds me of being young and single in Brisneyland in the late nineties.