Saturday, February 27, 2010

If I were a Rockstar.......

I know, I know I have been quite tardy posting, but I have a good excuse.  A very good excuse.  'Member how in my last post I lamented the fact that no one pays me to be Miz Murasaki?  Well I have just gotten one step closer to my goal......that's right, I'm getting paid to write now.  I am an editor, I have my own desk and everything! 

Miz has scored a job as a journo!
Frickin, awesome, amazing cool.

So as cool as this is, it means I have a lot less time to do the things I do, go to uni, write, be a mum (and a wifey) and play roller derby.  But its ok, I'm making it work, it just means the might be a lot less blog lovin going on.  sorry.

Anyway, the whole reason I got this writing gig in the first place is thanks to my own determination and initiative, AND a super-cool amazing Orstralian rock god who goes by the name of Tim Rogers. It was a joint effort, Timmy and I doin our thang and a bit of a long story, so instead of boring you with the details I thought I would entertain you with a homage to the ol' cobber in a little thing I like to call.....

'If i were a Rock Star'


So, if I were a Rockstar;
  • I would get to fly first class.  This is pretty exciting, because as yet I have never done that.

  • I would get Ken Paves (Pah-vez not Paves) Celebrity Hair Stylist to the Stars to be my hairdresser.  That's right, me and Jessica Simpson and Pink having the great hair!

  • I would not sleep in my own vomit.  In fact I would hire someone to make sure that never happened.  Their title could be 'Sleep Hygiene Assistant'.  I realise that this may make me less of a rock god, but so be it.

  • I could have a really 'out there' rider. In my experience the stranger the requests on one's rider, the bigger star you are.

  • Designers would give me free stuff.  

  • Further to this, I would hire a personal stylist who would be able to help me achieve that uber cool effortlessly scruffy look that all the stars do.  You know the one where you look like you just excited a wild, all night orgy and put on the first thing you could find.  But, in reality it actually takes skill to achieve that kind of dishevelled look and make it look good, as opposed to skanky

  • I could dance like a total fool and still look cool because I'm a rockstar (Peter Garrett anyone?).

  • I would not be able to wear dirty, torn grotty clothes.  I know that rockstars do that kind of thing, but I am too much of a control freak. Me and my stylist (see above) would have to have a talk about that.

  • I could act as crazy, moody, cranky and sullen as I want, and people would explain it away with- "she's an artist".  When you are a brilliant artist people expect the kookiness.  If they don't get it, they are disappointed, like it makes you less of an artist or something.  Lucky writers get away with this too.  You just scream something like  "I have writer's block"  or "I'm on deadline".

  • When onstage, I could swear and belittle the audience as much as I want- people love that kind of shit from their idols.  Seriously, Tim swore his head off and the crowd couldn't get enough.  I wonder what would happen if I tried that at the paper?

This week I love.....

  • Being employed, in a job I actually like.  The best thing about getting the job you want is that it means you may never have to do shitty jobs that you hate, again.  Yay!

  • The heat wave going down in the South West region of WA.  My favourite season has just been extended by a week, winter is way too long here in Bunbury.

  • The 50% off rack.  You wander into a shop, and there it is!  Even better when you can find something you like.

  • I love love love my new proper derby knee pads! It feels like I'm landing on pillows!  Those knee slides don't even hurt anymore.


  1. Fantastic overture once again Miz.....I believe I had read enough to know that I follow "a predictability path sensor", when you read something and you know what they are going to say....I just love love love the fact that everytime I read your stuff you remain out of the ball-park with your writing!!

    Looking foward to the next blog,

    Love Cave

  2. Dear Cave,
    "predictability path sensor" That's a pretty impressive phrase there. My my but what a splendid vocab you must have. I'm impressed.
    love Miz....

  3. Hi Miz, i do like the recent blog that fantasises about the perks of being a rock star. I often wonder that myself - what would i do? Mmmmm, makes me wonder
    - never never never drive myself anywhere ever again whilst at the same time buying several different cars
    - be sure to share my sti's with everyone i possibly could (not) just wanted to throw that one in to get a reaction
    - deliberately act like an ass in certain interviews with music journalists, only then to turn around next time and be a complete angel
    - throw massive parties for all my friends and provide everything from entertainment to shoes
    Anyway, we live in hope hey? Until then, I guess i will have to stick with singing in the shower!