Thursday, January 7, 2010

Proclaimations, Observations and Ponderations......

I don't know if this ever happens to you, but i find that my mind is most active between the hours of 11pm and 1am. Unfortunately for me, this also happens to be when i am trying to get to the land of Nod.  Which makes me wonder, if i switched it around and started sleeping during the day and working at night, would i end up dead-tired at 10.30?  This I will never know, because I couldn't be bothered stuffing up my sleeping patterns any more.  Thank-you to all those years working nights in pubs!
In the spirit of insomnia here's a list of some of my late-night ponderings and be warned, Miz scored a new mega-huge, fancy pants dictionary for Xmas, and she isn't afraid to use it (that is how i know ponderation is actually a word).

Proclaimation....
Sometimes you can want a particular object/objective for aeons but when you finally get it, you realise it is nothing like you imagined it would be.  In fact you don't want it at all.  Leaves you wondering why you wasted all that time.

Observation....
No matter how hard I try to avoid it, chances are I am going to turn into my Mum.  If  in no other way than being the person my children roll their eyes at.  If they only knew.  Still I will take some consolation knowing that will happen to them too!


Ponderation......
Can someone please tell me how i can get Carrie Bradshaw's life?  The woman writes a piddly little column for some second-rate newspaper, and she does it from home! I'd be interested to know the hourly rate in that line of work. It must be fairly lucrative because the lady is always shopping, socialising, dating, dining out and meeting heaps of cute men.  I already to all of these things (except for the cute men bit) unfortunately no one pays me to be Miz Murasaki.......yet. 
For crying out loud, how much time does she actually spend writing that column anyway?  And, don't get me started on the woman's inability to match bra to clothing. If i was dressed from head to toe in designer clothing, I'd sure as hell be able to find the right bra.

Proclaimation....
Capitalism is a bitch.  As eary as January 4 consumers were able to buy hot cross buns from one of  the "big stupidmarkets". I don't know about you but we were still eating Xmas leftovers at our house.
 Mao wouldn't have put up with that kind of crap.


Observation.....
Women spend an extraordinary amount of time and money on looking good.  As a matter of fact, we do some pretty wild stuff, and put ourselves out enormously in order to look good.  We don't complain, and even though we know it's madness we still do it.  Do not be fooled into thinking we do it in order to please men, that is a fallacy. We do it to impress other women. 

Ponderation....
What am I supposed to do with my son's teeth after the 'Tooth Fairy' has left him some cash?  I just can't bring myself to throw it in the bin.  Perhaps there is a blackmarket for this kind of thing.

Proclaimation.....
Tattoos, childbirth and waxing hurt.  You can only get an epidural for one of these.

Observation....
Boys may not get an attitude until they are about six.  This is only because they have started school and are associating with other boys.  In contrast, girls have attitude from the day they are born, you just don't notice it straightaway because they are babies.  Its not wind, its 'tude. Trust me.  The ones that are cute and smart  have it even easier, case in point my daughter Miss Madam Pants.   People wonder why they turn into Princess Bitchfaces once they hit their teens. Well derr- they've been practicing since birth.

Ponderation.....
In the Hindu religion cows are sacred.  Does that mean if you call a Hindu a cow, they take it as a compliment?

Proclaimation....
'Shopping Theory'  When you've got cash to spend, there's nothing to buy.  When you're broke and just going for a look, there is heaps of cool stuff.  You know it's true.

Observation....
Wedges of fresh lemon are only palatable after Tequila shots.  Why is this so?

Ponderation....
With the increasing popularity of  boob jobs and permanent hair removal, will the next generation of Grannies all have gravity defying breastessess and be smooth and hairless down there?  Who cares, if it feels good do it.



This Week I love,
  • Miz loves the New Year.  This may come as a shock, seeing as how I am not at all sentimental, but Miz Murasaki loves the New Year.  It's probably due to the fact that  I am a control freak, and I always keep my resolutions.  I do not however, refer to them as resolutions, that would be a bit naff.  Miz Murasaki has plans, aims and goals.
  • My brand new, fancy pants dictionary.  I am a word nerd afterall.

  • My other blog, Babushkas Boilin' Bunnies.  Have you checked it out yet?
  • Getting back to the gym after the silly season break.  Sweat out the booze, and feel alive!  Apparently it's better than drugs....apparently.
  • Paying in kind.  When one creative gal makes some cute things and gives one to a creative girlfriend, and then said girlfriend makes some cute things and gives one to first creative gal.  Lets face it, who's going to appreciate it more than your girlfriend(s)?  Because I used my Roller Derby obsession for good and made some little badges, Miz Murasaki is  now the proud owner of some cute little handmade hairpins.  Thanks Katkins!
  • Speaking of creative ladies, this week Miz has been enjoying Bjork all over again.  Friendly Fires have also been serenading me while I work, party, read and lie about.

4 comments:

  1. well, i guess i now understand why the blog takes priority over everything else!!!!!!
    I find some of your comments quite hilarious actually....particularly about the children part. I have a nephew who i would like to return as he is starting to act more like a boy than the sweet little child that he was.
    I would like to add a post to your blog.....not sure if it fits under the category of ponderation, observation or proclaimation, rather frustration. Was making my plunger coffee this morning (a regular thing for me) and just happened to knock over my plunger, breaking the glass and as such spoiling my chances of carrying out my morning ritual :( It is times like these that I wish I could be a child again.....cue the days of me screaming or throwing a tantrum while my mother rushes to my side and fixes the problem for me. Husbands don't do that....

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  2. Well well well, What can I say-Youve done it AGAIN Mizzzzz...lucky your full-of-yourself blog can pull itself orf. My gosh-You are quite fantastic. I think I grew 28,0000 new neurons whilst reading your little forts, yep, I admit-went on a little goosechase with the Jacks,stole a shopping trolley, pulled out some council lilly-pillies, made a rude face to the chinese baker through the window as I was coming home ,crashed in-turned it up and over-and passed out rather satisfied and alloof to the sound of the 7.30 am traffic starting to filter out towards the troughs for a drink......

    I would really appreciate it if you would get over being such a tease and just give it to me once a week?????

    So, I guess I will be reading it again soon.
    Anew blog. that is

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  3. Dear MIz,

    I have a question for you. Do you think that shoes are a type of Pornography? I see your into fashion quite a bit, but dont like bra straps exposed ( one of my pet hates as well, and has earned me twice a stranger coming up to me and calling me a "total Virgo) after I tried to assist a cherubic 13 year old with her fash faux pas)

    Is Fash also Porn?

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  4. Dear Miz, as someone who likes to take care of themselves, inside and out, I would like to let you know that I too dress to impress the ladies of the land. It has nothing to do with my bi-curiosity. It is simply the desire to be complimented by my friends. I enjoy the attention. Perhaps this is a side effect of being a cute princess as a child...

    ReplyDelete